


The Fandemic Society of Iokoaa

by actualcompost



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble, References to Supernatural (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 09:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3375851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualcompost/pseuds/actualcompost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A text conversation escalates quickly</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fandemic Society of Iokoaa

**Author's Note:**

  * For [abby_is_def_not_crying](https://archiveofourown.org/users/abby_is_def_not_crying/gifts).



> rating for cuss words

I'm dying.

Oh dear... what ails you, my compatriot?

I'm sick and dying

Dear companion, tell me what you need and I shall give to the best of my abilities!

There is no hope left for me.

But comrade, there must be something!

A new nose, throat, and lungs?

I'll be back with those items soon.

I hope you don't mind a little blood.

Nah doesn't bother me

Alright. I'll need you to get some anesthesia ready for when I arrive.

Ok. 

_several hours later_

Hide the anesthesia and don't tell them I did it

They're after me

crap oh no get to the bunker use your alias I'll wire you some money

No I've got something stuck to my shoe

Don't lose your shoe

I haven't lost my shoe. I'm on the run. I've got to change out of these clothes and burn the evidence.

But I've got someone stuck to my shoe

Can you make it back to the bunker unnoticed?

Change shoes

No I've  got someone stuck to my shoe.

Someone's following me, you son of a bitch

Oh um gosh ok so stop running wait for them to approach you then SHANK THE BITCH

No they're just following me

Do they know what you did?

They're the ones that called the feds. Have they come to you yet?

I can only imagine that they're just waiting for the feds to catch up.

Go to saint johns hospital and ask for Carrie and tell her "arthur loves Merlin" she'll know what to do

On my way

Saint john's on main?

Yes

Ok.

There now.

Carrie works on floor three

Carrie is hot

Stay focused.

Have you done this before?

Talked to Carrie, I mean.

Yes I talk with her once a month

So you know what's supposed to be happening?

Yes I know but our contact will be limited for the next month or two but its for everyone's safety including your own

No I need your help. I'm in a fucking tunnel with a million fucking ways to go in this maze. Awesome. Carrie didn't even give me any direction or map. It stinks in here. 

It's part of the test, I've grown quite fond of you so I'll help, first never and I mean never say the word leave, second never go straight or backwards

Always turn?

Always.

And what test?

You'll find out, all in good time. For now try and find the table with the red lamp and knife

Is this some fucking secret society?

Yes, the Fandemic Society of Iokoaa

I'm going to die here because of you.

There is no fucking red lamp

You won't die, unless you're weaker than expected and there is a red lamp you're looking but not observing

God I'm going to kill you when I get out. I hope the Feds find you soon

No one will find me.

_an hour or two passes_

Alright I found the red lamp and there is a knife

Take the knife and cut your palm, small enough to heal quickly but large enough to get seven drops of blood on the lamp

Does it have to be my palm? Can I cut a finger instead?

No your palm

Fine.

What the fuck is happening. The ceiling is shaking

Get under the table and don't let go of the knife

Why what is coming

Don't ask I can't tell

What the fuck is that thing? Will it attack me?

Its up to you now are you a fool or a Iokoaa? Only you know

What the hell I just killed it but it bit me. Is the bite supposed to be fizzling?

What? Its not even supposed to touch you you idiot

Well what do I do? It was biting me when I stabbed it

You have four minutes to find the antidote

Antidote? So it's a poison?

I can't tell so don't ask

_several minutes pass_

I can't find the antidote... am I going to die?

No that was the second test you failed with flying colors.

Well what do I do now? I'm just trying to get out of here.

Say apricot. Then you will talk to Gerry and your memory will be erased and you won't remember anything about the Society. You didn't pass the tests so you can't join. I had high hopes for you...

Wtf I didn't even want to join in the first place and now I'm in a fucking tunnel with a sizzling shoulder.

So if my memory is going to be erased can you answer a couple questions?

Fine

What happens if I say leave?

You implode.

What the hell was that thing that bit me?

Argerthora.

And where will I go after I talk to Gerry? I assume the Feds are still after me

Home. They think you died so you should be ok just stay out of trouble.

And are they going to delete this conversation?

Yes, they will.

Will I even know you?

That's up to fate, my good friend.

I'll see you on the other side.

**Author's Note:**

> This was an Improv. RP between me and a friend, and I decided to share it with you. This was all improvised, so there was no prior agreement to a plot or even a prompt. It just kept spinning off and off and off and I'm so sorry.


End file.
